A/N : This is my second attempt at fan fiction writing – the first one was published on my previous blog and will be transferred here at some point. This story is based on the popular CW TV Show “The 100″. I must say I am a huge fan and I am so excited season 3 has started again – thank you Netflix for releasing the episodes weekly! I wanted to write about Lexa and Costia since we know so little about them. I like to think Costia changed our favorite Heda in a positive way and still influences her daily. I apologize if I got details wrong! Anyways, enjoy!
Disclaimer : I do not own any of the characters or the universe, they belong to their respective creators.
THE WOLF AND THE HARE
where it all began
This is where it all began. This moment, when two pairs of eyes meet for the first time, for real. Black and green clashing in a battle of souls. That’s when they know that it’s all over for them. They’ve fallen deep and they will never come back from this.
Lexa was the second of Anya, a war leader. Young, but very talented, she knew no fear. Never hesitating, she was fierce in battle and in life. The warrior in training was observant and wasn’t very talkative. That was her way to gather and absorb information. She firmly believed that strength was everything, and that part of that strength came from intel. Without physical strength and a strong mind and will, you were nothing.
That was one of the reasons she was so intrigued by Costia, the adopted sister of the healer Nyko. That girl, not much younger than her, was so different from anyone Lexa knew. Even though Costia was skilled with a sword, she disliked fighting and wouldn’t go to battle unless she had to. She preferred studying herbs and the art of healing with Nyko. In itself, that was unnerving, more so than her unusual appearance, golden skin and almond eyes.
During practice one day, Lexa got severely injured. Her leg had been deeply cut and she had to get it fixed before it was too late. Brought by Anya at Nyko’s and Costia’s house, she would have to speak to the girl for the first time. She always dealt with her brother before, almost avoiding her on purpose, but he was gone.
The war leader was supporting her second as they entered the house. The main room was full of jars with herbs and vials filled with different potions. Poisons and antidotes, remedies Lexa couldn’t know of. She didn’t care for that much, she just needed her leg patched and she’d be ready to go again.
“Costia, please heal her. This girl never knows when to stop…”
Anya sounded annoyed by her apprentice, which only made the young healer smile. She knew too well of the eagerness of Lexa. Costia had seen her around and about, but they never spoke. It was like they both were so aware of each other without daring to come close. She was hoping they’d get a chance to close that gap, today, but it was unlikely. This was Lexa, the unwavering and fearless warrior.
“Of course, Anya. Please lie her down on the table, I will take a look at her wound.”
Costia circled around the warriors and grabbed a few things to mix a poultice that would help keep the wound clean from infection and calm the swelling of the flesh. She could close her right away, but not without chances of infection because who knew where these blades had been before biting in Lexa’s thigh.
While she prepared the medicine, Anya helped the girl out of her blood stained pants.
“How long will it take before she’s healed?”
Costia approached her patient, a bowl with a green mixture in her hands. Observing the cut, she noticed how swollen the lips of the wound were and she feared infection was already starting. It was a good thing Anya had brought the warrior in right away, her poultice would do just the trick.
“I’ll start with cleaning the cut. I’ll have to keep Lexa here for the night, if you don’t mind? I just want to make sure the infection is cleared properly.”
Anya grunted her approval while Lexa closed her eyes and nodded against her will. What was she to do? Not like she could run away, she’d just have to bear with it. It was better than losing her leg all together.
Because she was now in the dark, she didn’t see Costia apply the green paste on her leg, but she felt her fingers on her thigh. It was cool, and she felt immediate relief of the dull burning that hadn’t stopped since the blade had cut her.
“We will keep this on for a few hours. Once the flesh is clean and the swelling has been reduced, I will close the wound.”
Costia made sure to explain every step to the patient, but also to the war leader. She knew they liked when things were clear, when they knew what was happening. Healing was an art not everyone could grasp and warriors didn’t like things they didn’t understand. Her job was to make sure they did so they would trust she knew best.
“Good. I’ll come back in the morning to check on you, Lexa. Rest, now.”
“I will take good care of her, I promise.”
Anya smiled and nodded before leaving to go back to the training grounds. After all, she had duties as a war leader. There were still the wars between the 12 clans raging as well as Reapers to be wary of. She couldn’t afford to be absent, not a time like this.
The healer turned her attention back to her patient.
“Would you like something to help you sleep?”
Lexa only nodded, avoiding eye contact with her. Why was it so difficult to deal with Costia? It’s not like she was not one of them. Deep down, she knew that, but she was still different.
“Would you be able to sit up? Removing your armor would make you feel more comfortable and I can help you to the bed.”
Without a word, the warrior simply got up and walked unsteadily to the bed where she sat and undressed herself until she was left with just a stained shirt and underwear. She looked up at Costia defiantly, but the girl didn’t even react and returned to the table to put the medicine away. Right, she was a healer, she was used to see naked bodies. Why would it be different with her? She felt childish and laid down on her side, facing the wall, her wounded leg exposed.
Why would it be different, indeed? Costia wondered the same thing as she cleaned the table, hiding a slight blush. She had seen naked warriors of all sorts, but Lexa’s almost naked body troubled her for some reason. She couldn’t quite say what it was and decided to avoid the confusion by doing something she was good at: cooking. Just like medicine was about mixing herbs to cure different ailments, cooking was about putting together ingredients to create different flavors. She was good at both and it helped her take her minds off of things.
While Lexa rested, the young healer made a vegetable and chicken soup that would be good for her patient’s recovery. She went to offer her a bowl once it was ready, but the girl had fallen asleep. Costia left the bowl next to the bed and ate her portion alone. Normally, she would’ve waited for Nyko, but he was scouting and gathering herbs. He wouldn’t be back for a few days.
Returning by her patient’s bedside, she made a fire in the hearth and sat down, observing her with interest. Costia had to admit, she didn’t feel close to the girl. Lexa felt too cold for her, as if she didn’t feel anything but the desire to fight. Plus, she seemed to always look at her from afar, watching her. It made her feel uncomfortable since they never really spoke. She thought Lexa actually avoided her when she could.
The young healer was used to be stared at because she looked different, but after a while, people stopped. They forgot her looks and realized she was just like any of them. She was hoping Lexa would too. Maybe then, if they could get to know each other, maybe they could be friends.
A few hours later, the warrior woke up and found Costia sitting by the fire, drawing. She glanced quickly at her work and was surprised to see incredible scenes of the sea. Neither had gone east, but this looked so… real.
The healer must’ve heard her because she looked up at that moment and saw Lexa was awake.
“I’ve kept some soup warm for you, if you’re hungry.”
Lexa simply nodded and managed to sit painfully as her wound stung her. Costia gave her the bowl of soup she had kept and watched her as she ate. Only when she was done did the healer examine the wound.
“It’s better now. Do you think you’d be up for the bad part? I can give you something to knock you out so you don’t feel a thing.”
“A warrior knows no fear and doesn’t run from pain.”
The first words Lexa ever said to her, though she was still not looking directly at her. Costia had somehow known the girl would say that, they all thought they were tough. So, she got the bone needle and the sinew and pierced the first hole in the tender flesh, watching carefully the reaction of her patient.
Lexa clenched her jaw and fist, but didn’t let out a single sound. No way she would, she was way too proud for that. She didn’t want to show any weakness, so she simply nodded, asking silently to Costia to continue.
So the healer did. She slowly and steadily sowed the two lips of her wound together. It would leave a mark, a wound this large couldn’t be hidden. That was fine, warriors were proud of their scars, it was proof they survived worst.
Once she was done, Costia noticed how white Lexa’s knuckles were. It couldn’t have been easy, but the girl was stubborn and hadn’t let out a single sound. Tough one. She’d be fine.
“All done. You should get some more rest, but I think you’ll be able to walk in the morning. Nothing heavy, though, just walk home with the help of Anya and rest some more.”
Lexa slowly relaxed her tensed muscles and nodded as Costia put her tools away. The burning sensation around her wound was back, but she didn’t care.
“Thank you… Costia.”
It was the first time Lexa had said her name and Costia shivered when she heard. She liked the way she said it, how it sounded with her deep tones. She blushed at the thought and turned away quickly, picking up her tray and Lexa’s empty bowl.
“It’s nothing, just doing my job!”
She put the things away, then grabbed some herbs to mix so she could put another coat of that poultice on the wound for the night. Once it was ready, she quickly cleaned the wound and applied the mixture before leaving the room, allowing her patient to rest.
Lexa had observed Costia with some sort of amusement, though she didn’t let it show. The girl was shy, but she was a good healer and she was dedicated to her art. She slowly got up and winced at the sharp pain in her thigh. She grabbed the book Costia left behind in her hurry and took it back to the bed. She went through the pages and noticed the sea was a recurring theme, but there were some very accurate drawings of the forest, the mountains, the village, the people. There was even one of her and Anya, which she couldn’t help but smile as she touched it. The girl was very talented.
Costia realized she had forgotten her book as soon as she had left the room. She couldn’t go back, though, so she decided to wait until Lexa was asleep. In the meantime, she decided to take a walk. It had gotten dark and people were inside, so no one was around to question why she was out so late. She just needed some fresh air and some time to think why it had flustered her so much when Lexa had said her name. It’s not like it was any special, any different from when someone else said it. Except it was. It had felt warm inside her chest. Was it silly?
When she came back, Lexa was sleeping and she noticed she had her book with her. Blushing, she carefully took it back from her. She went to her chair next to the fire and started drawing the sleeping girl. She seemed so peaceful without that serious look darkening her features. It made her look younger and… vulnerable. Not words she’d usually use when describing Anya’s second.
In the middle of the night, Lexa woke up and found a sleeping Costia in the chair. She got up to put more wood in the dying fire and noticed the drawing the young healer was working on. It was her, even though it didn’t really look like her. She looked different, she thought. She didn’t know that what she saw was only Costia’s vision of her.
The girl moaned in her sleep and slightly moved while Lexa fed the hearth. She turned around, but she was still sleeping. The warrior wanted to take her to the bed so she could sleep, but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able. She still felt weak and walking alone was difficult. Carrying someone else would be tricky, but she was a war leader’s second and she wasn’t going to back down from a challenge.
Carefully, the young warrior picked up Costia and winced as the pain seared through her leg. Step by step, she made it to the bed. As she laid the girl down, she almost fell over. She stopped her fall by placing her hands on the mattress, but she was inches over the sleeping Costia. Who was know awake. Her dark eyes were looking straight at hers and Lexa had no way to avoid her anymore. Both were staring at each other’s soul without being able to tear themselves away. At that moment, Lexa knew that the interest she had for the girl was more than mere curiosity. She actually liked her. Liked liked.
And Costia, realizing that Lexa had carried her even though she was injured, came to the same conclusion. Lexa liked her. And her? Well, she certainly didn’t dislike her… So she moved towards the wall and made her some space to join her in bed. Heart beating fast, Lexa laid down next to her, somewhat stiffly, but Costia reached for her hand and their fingers intertwined. Feeling suddenly eternal, they smiled awkwardly at each other before closing their eyes. Sleep would find them eventually, after their mind would stop racing, embracing the moment.
Morning found them snuggled in each other’s arm. It felt right, and safe. Costia had to rip herself away from the warrior because Anya was going to be here soon and she was going to take Lexa back. She wasn’t hers to have. The thought hurt, but when had life ever been easy? From the day she was born, Costia had been from hardship to hardship. She didn’t remember much, but she knew her parents had fled something. War, maybe. They had been killed anyway, leaving her alone in the woods. She would have been as good as dead, but Lincoln had found her and brought her to Nyko who had taken her in. At first, she didn’t speak their language, so she didn’t understand him. She learned, and she learned to fight, so she would never be left without any defenses. She didn’t like it; she didn’t want to take lives, even to save her own. That’s why she went Nyko once she got familiar with the language enough to ask him to teach her his art.
She knew things would be different from now on. She wouldn’t be able to see Lexa the same way; she wouldn’t be able to see anything the same way. Everyday would be a torture, knowing she couldn’t be with the one she loved. Because she did love her. She didn’t spend much time with her, but they had connected in a way she never had with anyone before. She knew that she was Lexa’s just as much as Lexa was hers. Or should be. Lexa was still the Anya’s second and she wasn’t entirely free to make her own decisions. Whatever the war leader said, Lexa had to obey. That was the way things were, and a warrior would regard their relationship as a weakness and unnecessary.
Lexa didn’t intend on giving a chance to Anya to prohibit her from seeing Costia. She would show up at random times to get a shallow cut taken care of, or to have dinner with her and Nyko. She wouldn’t talk much, but she would listen to Costia. The young healer had dreams of peace between the Clans, and above all, she wanted to see the ocean and swim in the salt waters.
When the Heda died and Lexa was chosen to take over, the first thing she did was to create an alliance between her clan, the woods clan, and the boat people living by the sea. As soon as the alliance went through the new Heda went to Costia. Lexa went to her, because she was the Commander now, and no one could tell her what to do. Now, she was free to claim anyone as hers.
“Costia, you’re mine, and I won’t let anyone else have you.”
The healer smiled. There was nothing more she wanted, nothing more than lose herself in her.
“I’ll bring you to the sea, I made it safe. You’ll be able to swim with your dolphins and laugh with the waves. You’re mine and that means the world is yours, now.”
Costia only kissed her, for the first time, as an answer. They both felt their heart leap with joy as their lips crashed, and they knew that never they would want to be apart. This moment, this dream come true, was also what broke them.
Lexa still had ways to go. She was still new in her position and needed to ally 10 other Clans. Sure, she was all Clans’ Heda, but that didn’t mean war between them would stop, not unless she made them stop. And she would. With her warriors, she campaigned to bring peace. She wanted to give her lover a chance to live her dreams.
However, while Lexa was gone, the Ice Nation, one of the 12 clans, took Costia away. They took her because she was hers. They were each other’s greatest weakness and the Ice Queen was sure she had information about the Heda. The Queen wanted to break the healer so they could crush the young Commander.
The proud Ice Nation didn’t want to join in the alliance, they thought it was folly. It was only after allying 11 of the Clans that Lexa finally marched on her enemy to have them surrender to her. What she saw only tore her apart. They had tortured and killed Costia before beheading her. It was her head that welcomed the Heda and her army at the frontier of the Ice Nation’s territory.
Pain and rage animated Lexa. After she almost single-handedly defeated the Ice Nation’s warriors and submitted their Queen to her, after she went back to her village to announce to Nyko she failed in rescuing Costia. After she was left alone in her palace in the capital and cried her soul out, after all of that, she promised herself to never love another being ever again. Love was a weakness and as Heda, she couldn’t afford to have a weakness, she wouldn’t make someone a target again. She still had enemies out there, she still had the Mountain Men and the Reapers to take care of. She was strong enough to do so now, with 12 armies serving her. They would all bow to her. And Costia’s dream would live on even if the girl’s fight was over.