A/N: Originally published on April 24th, 2013 on A Purple Panda. – Alixa
When I think about us, I cry. I never thought you’d be the one to hurt me, but I had this feeling in my guts. I tried to push it away, I tried logic and jokes to convince myself I was just imagining things. Deep down, though, I always knew you would. Twice by leaving me empty, once again by cheating on me.
You promised you’d love me, protect me, take care of me. You promised, though not in front of the gods, but you promised. You lied. From that one lie, anything you said beyond is worth the same; nothing. The words I thought were only mine, you told her too. The thoughts I thoughts were mine, I shared with her. The heart I thought was mine never really was. Lies.
I had been so scared to open up to you. I didn’t want to get hurt again, like I’ve been before. I fought, but you were so sweet you made me drop my guard. Sweet lies, how can anyone resist? I wanted to believe them so badly. I wanted to, because I was falling for you.
Truth never could’ve been so harsh. Finding out from someone else made it that worse. Would you really have told me? Only the parts that didn’t make you look too bad, probably. Lies, to make you look good. But lies, oh lies! They have a way to unveil themselves in the light. How could I have been so blind?
For those whose hearts are still free, you seduce us with pretty stories. Lies. You make it sounds so perfect in songs, looks beautiful in movies. Almost easy, though there’s always that one obstacle. But never you tell us how terrible it can make you feel. You are not advertising it right, you are not preparing us to what’s to come, and so it makes you a liar.
Here and now, I vow. Never again will I let you in, my dear Love. I do not wish to be destroyed again. A girl can only rebuild herself so many times. I am done with the illusions, let me focus on me for a while. Don’t knock at the door of my heart, unless you can keep the promise to never lie, never cheat, never hurt.
A broken heart.