Nighttime Inspirations 4

A/N: Originally published on July 3rd, 2013 on A Purple Panda. – Alixa


This is one of these nights where he lied awake on his bed. He couldn’t sleep. Thoughts were tormenting him, twisting memories and words. The longer it lasted, the deeper he fell, confused and angry. He disliked these feelings, this powerlessness taking hold of him. He couldn’t do anything but fight the thoughts in the darkness of the night. He was alone against demons that knew his every weakness. How could he win?

Of them all, Jealousy was the worst and he hated her with passion. She was the one to ruin everything when it was good. She was the reason he wasn’t able to trust anyone. He was also a slave to Greed, wanting everything for himself only. Because of Love. But in the dark, Jealousy was the one to whisper in his ear all the lies he didn’t want to hear. She knew how to get to him and make him believe her poisonous words.

Once, there had been a girl. Stella. She was beautiful and smart, and she shone through his nights to reach his locked up heart. She was his treasure and didn’t want to share her precious light. A girl like that, though, had many friends that weren’t willing to let her go. She was meant to shine for them all and not just for him.

He would’ve been ok with it if it hasn’t been for Jealousy. She came so fast he didn’t notice her until it was too late. Already, she was telling him how his beloved was being swept away by others while he slept. She would turn images into proofs of her infidelity, words into traitorous promises. He would then confront Stella, accusing, and make her cry. Who was he to taint such a pure light?

She had a beautiful soul, though, and she tried to please him. She tried to make him feel more secure, but again and again would Jealousy come and ruin her efforts. She loved him and forgave, but he saw he was slowly destroying her. Already, the nights were darker as Stella’s light was dimming.

And so, in an ultimate act of sacrifice, he set her free. He knew she deserved someone who would make her shine brighter and he wasn’t the one to do so. He was choking the light out of her and he had to stop. He broke her heart and he knew she’d be happier in the long run. He was satisfied knowing that.

The battles never stopped afterwards. Jealousy loved to come torture him time to time, just to remind him of old wounds. She would make him doubt of the purity of Stella’s love for him. Hadn’t it all just been a game? Hadn’t she just played him? He wanted to trust, but it’s was so much harder alone in the dark, with the whispers to convince you otherwise.

So it was another sleepless night for him, spent fighting demons and fake memories. He was hanging on to the light, the only thing that reached him other than the whispers in the dark. He was hoping and trying so hard to be free himself so he could be happy too one day.

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